i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
