someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
