i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
