What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
