Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
