i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Let's get the cat blown out
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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