Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
