Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
