Pappa wants mamma naked
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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