Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
