yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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