I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
