I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
