So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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