tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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