she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
