finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
