I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
