i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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