i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
