I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
