Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
