I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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