garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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