If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
