I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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