There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
