Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
