i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
