Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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