hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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