Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
