What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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