As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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