Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Let's get the cat blown out
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
