AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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