I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
