i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
