i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she peed on how many people?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
