yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
