So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
