i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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