I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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