I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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