There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Do vagina's smell?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
