my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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