the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Is it because I queefed?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
