i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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