Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think I died a long time ago.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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