Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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