Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
