Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
